Triumph, tears and trust

As you can see by this photo Victoria is continuing to live life to the full. During the April school holidays Victoria and Charlotte went on a Camp Quality Camp. Victoria is pictured here with her wonderful companion Naida, who made sure that they synchronized the colour of the camp quality shirts each day. Victoria had a fabulous time at the camp, drumming, rock-climbing, ten pin bowling and doing copious amounts of craft. I know I have said it before, but I will say it again, we are so grateful to Camp Quality, the organisers', volunteers and people who make donations. They have helped our family immensely.  

Camp Quality also arrange Family Fun days. In April there is was a family fun day at the Toboggan Hill Park at Nelson Bay. Once again we all had great fun, lots of laughs and screams!

The park also had other activities such as hot ice skating, which all the children participated in. 

It was great to see them each set themselves goals on the 'ice', and achieve them according to their various abilities. Another new experience for them all, thanks to Camp Quality.

Victoria's strength and range of movement of her left arm and leg continues to improve. She is very diligent in doing her one hour of stretching each day. In the holidays we took advantage of the non-school time to do some extra physical therapy, alternating daily between hydrotherapy, bike-riding and scootering. Thankfully Victoria enjoys all these activities and is motivated by goal setting. With the bike-riding, she rode 4.3km in 54 minutes, and at the next session she reduced her time by 4 minutes. She is yet to reach her goal of riding without training wheels, but is continuing to work hard on building her strength up in her left leg. Balance is the real challenge for her, but we will continue to try.

There has been a lot going on for Victoria on the occupational therapy front too, with a view to reducing the amount of handwriting due to physical and cognitive tiredness. The alternative strategy is to use an ipad for narrative writing etc. So now Victoria is practicing typing each day too. Practicing the typing for 'typings sake' but also for the strengthening of the fingers on her left hand, to enable the smallest two fingers to move independently of each other rather than together. It is amazing how much one little body needs to do to remain physically functional. 

After only six weeks of daily typing practice, a review by the occupational therapist this week, left the OT speechless as she saw the improvement in strength and isolation movement in Victoria's left fingers. As for me, it bought tears to my eyes to see her reaction. Victoria works so hard at all these activities. And they do put extra load on our family ( I am not complaining, it is just a fact!), making time to fit these daily exercises into an already busy household. They also reduce the time I can spend with our other children. Thankfully we have received some funding to enable someone to come twice a week to help out with the exercises. This has made a big difference to our afternoons, and provided some variety for Victoria, and allowing me to spend more time with the other children.

The grim reality of some childhood cancers has been very much top of mind over the past couple of weeks, as a beautiful little girl who we have gotten to know over the past few years passed away. She was a champion who battled neuroblastoma from the age of 8 months for 7.5 years. Her family has been an inspiration to many who have entered this journey in that time period, including us. At the Celebration of her life last week a poem was shared called The Brave Little Soul by John Alessi. If you have ever wondered why children especially, have to endure such suffering, I feel it is worth reading. It may to help make sense of why there is such suffering. Click on this link if want to read it - The Brave Little Soul. It could be a good idea to have a box of tissues near by.

There are many practical things we can do to help those who are suffering with cancer, and one is to give blood. On Monday when I gave blood I read that 34% of all blood products donated are used by cancer patients. So if you are physically able to give blood, I encourage you to please give and give regularly. One donation can potentially save up to three lives. We have a Club Red group called The Conquerors, which has currently potentially saved 90 lives! So if you are going to give, please join our group - The Conquerors.

Thank you for continuing to uphold Victoria and our family in prayer. We know that it is by the grace of God alone that she is still with us today, and thriving despite the tumour and its impacts. Some days are definitely tougher than others, particularly over the past few weeks, but we continue to put our hope and trust in our God. This quote sums up how it is some days ....

Sometimes belief is off in the sunshine while I'm coated in fog, cold and uncertain, trapped by a sky that feels too heavy to penetrate. But hope lives here, still; God's Word on my brittle heart, full of possibility, already dripping through the cracks. (from Found by Micha Boyett  p143)

Thank you for praying for us, loving and supporting us. We will continue to declare - Victoria - victory and conqueror, Grace - favour and blessing.

Every word of God is tried and purified; He is a shield to those who trust and take refuge in Him. Proverbs 30:5 AMP

Results and Riding

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for Victoria. The scan process on Monday went extremely smoothly, in fact each step happened early! Victoria was her normal cheery self, choosing to wear her Onesy which bought many smiles to staff and patients traversing the corridors of the John Hunter Hospital.

Thank you to everyone who sent messages of support and encouragement, and to my Mum and Dad who were here to support us at all the hospital visits. 

The MRI indicated that the tumour is stable, which means no more treatment is necessary at this stage. The next scan is booked for July 22, 2015. We are so grateful to God for this result, and for another four treatment-free months! We are also grateful that Victoria experienced virtually no anxiety leading up to the scan. The rest of us travelled well until 'results' day, and then I, in particular, fell apart! Next time, I will have to follow Victoria's example.

The goal of riding the 50km section of the Loop the Lake served as a fantastic distraction for me in the lead up to the scan. We crossed the finish line with much satisfaction. It was great to ride the last couple of the kilometres with the family, including Marshall on his skateboard. Thank you to Jenny who rode with me on the Loop the Lake, and to Kris, my weekly riding partner who helped me get to a level of fitness that meant I had no sore muscles anywhere after the ride.  And thank you to my parents, Ken's parents and Robyn for coming to welcome us across the finish line. It was a fantastic family event, and hopefully raised a lot of money for the John Hunter Children's Hospital.

So, getting back to Victoria, we are still on this roller coaster ride, with the blessing of larger 'straights' now. We will continue to trust God in this journey, knowing that He loves Victoria even more than we do. I have been reading the book 'Emotionally Healthy Spirituality' by Peter Scazzero, and have just started Chapter seven - Enlarge your soul through grief and loss. Today, I wanted to share these couple of paragraphs,

'Our culture routinely interprets losses as alien invasions that interrupt our 'normal' lives. We numb our pain through denial, blaming, rationalisation, addictions, and avoidance. We search for spiritual shortcuts around our wounds. We demand others take away our pain. 

Yet we all face many deaths within out lives. The choice is whether these deaths will be terminal (crushing our spirit and life) or open us up to new possibilities and depths of transformation in Christ.' page 135-136

For our family, we are choosing the latter. We are choosing to stand on Christ our Rock, and let Him transform us through this circumstance.

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging in us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. 

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Romans 8:22-28 The Message

Thank you for standing with us, supporting us through prayer, messages of support and practical help. We are so grateful to have you in our lives and on this journey with us.

Be brave, trust God

Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.  Psalm 23:6 AMP

The other day we were looking through each child's box of "special things". In Victoria's box we found the invitation to her Dedication when she was a baby. Psalm 23:6 was the scripture God had given us to put on the invitation. What truth this scripture has been in her short life so far! God's goodness, mercy and unfailing love has been so evident in her life. That huge scar on Victoria's head that you can see in the above photo is testimony to God's unfailing love for her, an unfailing love He has for all His children.

Thank you to everyone who has been upholding Victoria and our family in prayer as we draw closer to another scan. A couple of weeks ago Victoria was asking every day, 'What day is my scan Mum?' 'How many more sleeps until my scan Mum?' It was clear that the upcoming scan was consuming much of her thinking. So I thought, if that is what she is thinking about, lets not just ignore it, let's get it out there, 'front and centre'. So after some consultation with her teacher, I decided to make a 'Scan countdown chart', similar to a Christmas Calendar. But instead of opening windows with dates, on each day I wrote a positive activity that was going to occur on that day.

The aim was for Victoria to know for herself exactly when the scan was going to happen, but also to know that there were many positive things going on in her life too. The chart has worked wonderfully. Victoria has great delight reading it each day to see what is going to be happening.

The Loop the Lake training has certainly helped to keep my mind focused. I can highly recommend setting a physical goal to help keep the anxiety at bay. We are looking forward to a memorable family day on Sunday. Please pray for our safety as we ride.

In early February we went to a Camp Quality family camp at Toukley, about 45 minutes south of here. Once again we had a fabulous weekend, with lots of activities to participate in, surfing, tennis, water gun fights and a visit from a reptile zoo. Thank you so much to all the volunteers and people who donate to Camp Quality to make these camps become a reality, and such a necessity for families experiencing childhood cancer. Alexandra and Victoria enjoyed making and flying kites.

Saturday afternoon two Redkite social workers came to facilitate a parents discussion group. I was unsure whether emotionally I could cope with the discussion group. I couldn't stop thinking about one of the scriptures God has given me as a 'theme' for this year is 1 Chronicles 28:20,

Also David told Solomon his son, Be strong and courageous, and do it. Fear not, be not dismayed, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail or forsake you until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord.

Basically in my mind I have summed this scripture up in four words, be brave, trust God. So with that scripture top of mind I attended the group. It was confronting, and emotional, and I had to be brave to stay in the room. But I was glad that I did, as later during the camp, because I had stayed and listened, I was able to have some very fruitful conversations, leading to the deepening of relationships. 

Sunday morning at the camp Marshall, Charlotte and I headed over to the Giant Swing activity.

Charlotte was the first of the three of us to have a go. She went two thirds of the way to the top.

The Giant Swing involves being harnessed, attached to a long rope, being hauled by the 'tow team' (the other campers) to a height of 18 metres (or less if that is what you want), and then self-releasing the rope, free falling before swinging!

Marshall went second.
He went two thirds of the way to the top.

Following on with the theme of 'be brave, trust God' I went third, all the way to the top! One kind parent videoed my swing ..... click here to watch the video. While it was absolutely terrifying free falling, I was so thrilled that I did it. 

In the weeks since 'the swing' there have been a few situations I have had to face where I have thought back to the moment I pulled the cord to release the rope, and thought, Yes, I can do this, I can be brave. I can trust God to get me through this.

One of those situations involved the writing of my book about our journey with Victoria and the brain tumour. I had been progressing well with it, until I reached the part about her brain surgery (the day prior, the operation day and the post op day). It has taken me four months to get the courage to write about those three days, knowing that I would have to re-live all the emotions as I recalled the conversations, the waiting, the unknowns and the fears. Reading the 'be brave, trust God' scriptures God had given me (they are in various places around our home) and remembering how good it felt once I had let go of the rope on the Giant Swing and was swinging through the air, gave me the courage to 'push through' and write about those three days. I finished writing that segment yesterday, and now I feel so elated! I did it! Yes, it was emotional and exhausting. But having completed that section, I now feel encouraged and even excited about continuing on with the book, praying that it will inspire and encourage others.

So thank you again for everyone who is praying for Victoria and our family. The lead up to this scan has been the most peaceful ever, especially for Victoria. As you know, the scan in on Monday 9th March, and we will get the results of Tuesday 10th March. 

We continue to claim Victoria's namesake over her life - Victoria - victorious, conqueror; Grace - blessing and favour. And we declare God's goodness, mercy and unfailing love over her.  Thank you for standing with us.

Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.  Psalm 23:6 AMP

Casting your cares

January 2015, sitting here in our garden, is a testimony of God's grace and faithfulness, four years since the diagnosis of a brain tumour. We continually praise God for all He has done in each of our lives.

O Lord God of hosts, who is a mighty one like unto You, O Lord? And Your faithfulness is round about You [as essential part of You at all times]. Psalm 89:7 AMP

Thank you to everyone who has in the past four years helped our family, either through prayer, practical or emotional support. The love and encouragement we have received has greatly helped us to continue each day, reminding us that we are not alone.

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. 1 Corinthians 13:7 AMP

Victoria has started the year filled with joy, so looking forward to school and other various activities. It has been great to have the scan frequency changed to four months. This change has enabled Victoria to start school without the distraction of 'pre-scan anxiety' and various follow-up appointments. Her next scan is booked for March 9th, and we will get the results of March 10th. We continue to pray for another "Treatment free" year for Victoria, and indeed our whole family. 

In the past I have started to experience anxiety regarding the scan about three or two weeks prior to the MRI day. So I was quite taken aback last week (five weeks out), when I felt a wave of fear overcome me. It was triggered by two things. Firstly, seeing our children so amazingly happy and content with their lives as they returned to school. The fear that this contentment could change should Victoria have to undergo treatment again. Secondly, by a comment from one of our children, 'Mum, When I was in Year #, you didn't really care about me'. What do you say? Year # was 2012 Victoria was in the middle of treatment. Our family was in survival mode. I responded to our child, with 'Yes, I did care about you, but I didn't have the capacity to give you what you needed'. I don't want to return to that place.

So once again I am gearing up for battle in my mind, to overcome the fear, in Jesus Name. This scripture is one I am definitely meditating on most days.

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times, for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset - rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world. 1 Peter 5:7-9 AMP

For the readers of this blog who I see regularly, over these next five weeks, when you see me, please don't ask me how I am. Rather, please pray for me and our family. Thank you.

To help my mind focus elsewhere, I have set myself the physical goal of riding the 50 km section of the Loop the Lake fundraising event for The John Hunter Children's Hospital. This is the hospital that we have gotten to know and love over the past four years. Even if it takes me all day to ride the 50km, I am determined to complete the ride. The ride takes place on Sunday 8th March, the day before Victoria's scan, perfect timing! I will be so exhausted on Monday, hopefully I won't even have the energy to be anxious! I will have my faithful family support team in food and drinks van travelling with me. 

If you live nearby and want to join in, please let me know. There is the 85km route around the whole lake, the 50km part route, and the 16km 'easy route', or you can start wherever you want to. Ken and our children will be getting on their bikes at Warners Bay and and we will ride the last couple of kms together to the finish line at Speers Point Park. 

Regarding the Christmas Campaign PR Victoria did for the Starlight Children's Foundation, whilst we do not have an overall total, we do know that the Trade Secret shops alone raised over $95,000 for the Starlight Children's Foundation, with their Christmas, Round Up Your Sale. This enables 14 seriously ill children to be granted their wishes. Thank you to everyone who donated to this campaign, you have helped to make a tangible difference in these children's lives.

If you are eligible, please remember to Give Blood, and join The Conquerors group. Our group has now made enough donations to have potentially saved 81 lives! This is another way you can help make a tangible difference in the lives of many people, including many children in the oncology wards around Australia. 

Thank you again for your continued prayers and support for Victoria and our family.  

Believe and Love

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Thank you for continuing to uphold Victoria and our family in prayer during 2014. It has been an amazing year for us all, full of health and adventures, Praise God.  In late November we attended the Vision Australia Christmas Party at Corlette, Port Stephens. We all had a fabulous time, including motor bike rides to Nelson Bay and back, courtesy of the American Motorcycle Association. 

Reflecting on the photo above, it is hard to believe how well Victoria looks, so healthy, strong, long hair, loving her life. We are so grateful to God for where she is at physically and emotionally today. I must admit I did say a few prayers as she drove away on the back of the Harley.

Watching Victoria drive off gave Charlotte the courage to have a go too. Charlotte's words were something like, 'If Victoria can be brave, so can I.' So off she went too, and I said another prayer.

Of course, I had to be brave then too!

Alexandra desperately wanted to go for a ride too, but couldn't because of her age. So she had to be content with a 'sit' on the bike.

Alexandra did however get the opportunity to go in the stretch Hummer. For the past couple of years, via Camp Quality, we have had the opportunity to go for a Hummer ride around Newcastle. But Alexandra has missed out both times due to her age. So when she heard there was going to be stretch Hummer rides, she was so excited.

When she got inside the Hummer, she didn't stop smiling!

Marshall and Ken opted out of the motor bike rides, but rather decided to take up the offer of a sail. It was a glorious day for sailing, plenty of wind and sun.

Charlotte was still looking for more adventure, so went out for a blast on a jet ski.

We had a fantastic day and were once again amazed at the generosity of people, all volunteers who gave of their time and shared their 'toys' so the Vision Australia clients could have so much fun. It was another learning experience for our family, as we shared in the fun with other vision impaired children. God continues to build compassion and understanding in all our lives.

Victoria has continued to be amused to see her photo in various places, including the Trade Secret shops. We pray that Starlight Children's Foundation will have received sufficient donations to meet their target of having enough funding to grant  200 wishes. Thank you to everyone who has donated to Starlight Children's Foundation to help make a huge difference in the lives of seriously ill children. 

One of the unexpected outcomes of being involved in this PR arrived in our post last week. It was a Christmas card that a Starlight supporter had sent to us via the Starlight Children's Foundation. It reads,

Ken and Wendy you have a beautiful and brave little girl, and no doubt her siblings are likewise. Go on being loving parents - I know "Our Lord" is watching over you all. God Bless You, Carmel, aged 87

I still cry when I read this card, to think that someone we don't know, took the time to send us this card, and pray for us, and is aged 87! The love in the body of Christ continues to amaze me.

Victoria continues to do her daily leg stretches to compensate for the muscle tighening due to the hemiplegia.  (weakness of muscles on her left side). Over the past few months, with more time and better headspace I have been able to do some research into the acquired hemiplegia Victoria has due to the tumour and a small stroke she suffered during surgery. I have found a very interesting organisation in the UK called HemiHelp. The information on their website and handbook has helped bring clarity to all the physical therapy Victoria has had to do over the past four years to keep her left arm, hand and leg functional. It also helped me to put into context other impacts such as visual field loss, sensory issues and secondary physical issues. 

Regarding Victoria's left arm and hand, we have been told by medical staff that it is a situation of 'use it or lose it'. When you have a part of your body that doesn't work so well, the tendency is not to use it. In Victoria's case, choosing not to use her left arm and hand will have long term detrimental effects. The latest therapy plan is to combine both leg stretches and left hand usage, whilst constraining her right hand.

Please pray that Victoria will have the motivation and emotional strength to continue to use her left hand in every day activities despite it's lack of physical strength. 

As you can see in this photo, Victoria also has her right taped with Physiotherapy tape. The aim of the tape is to encourage her right leg to walk heel-toe. This tape is currently on for 6 days and off for 1 day, repeatedly. Anyone who has used this tape would know that it is painful to remove. We have found an excellent product that helps us to remove the tape pain-free, it is called, Zoff, a product by Smith & Nephew.

All this therapy and continual attention to Victoria's physical needs can be very draining on Victoria and the rest of our family, so we certainly take the opportunity to enjoy the "adventures" that come our way.  Thankfully due to the many generous people in this country, there are many of these 'respite' opportunities. Just before Christmas we went to see the Sydney Kings play courtesy of Camp Quality. To see Victoria here you would have little idea of what she has to do to keep her body functioning physically well.

Reading through both The HemiHelp Handbook, and The Brain Tumour Alliance Australia Handbook, it can be very easy to become overwhelmed. The impacts and challenges presented by both Hemiplegia and Brain Tumours do not make for pleasant reading. However, for the sake of Victoria, I believe we cannot have our 'head in the sand' regarding her daily struggles and the medical implications. We need to be informed so we can help her the best way possible. 

But there is one thing we need to never lose sight of, and that is that God is in the midst, and that is why I read The Bible every day. A book that is full of hope, love and promises. A book full of testimonies of God's goodness and faithfulness. A goodness and faithfulness we have continually seen in the last four years. Four years of God's grace in our lives. A month ago a friend gave me this perfume, not for the perfume's sake, but rather for it's name.

I have the box sitting next to my desk, a constant reminder, to believe.

And Jesus said, [You say to Me], If You can do anything? [Why,] all things can be (are possible) to him who believes! At once the father of the boy gave [an eager, piercing, inarticulate] cry with tears, and he said, Lord, I believe! [Constantly] help my weakness of faith! Mark 9:23-24 AMP

Another friend gave me some perfume too. Maybe there is a message I am not getting! Although, this gift came from New Zealand, so I think not. Have a close read of the name and brand of this perfume.

It sits right next to the Believe perfume. My friend sent The Love is heavenly by Victoria's secret, with this scripture reference.

Love never give us.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be cancelled. 1 Corinthian 13:4-8 The Message

'Believe' and 'Love', two wonderful things to do in 2015! 

Thank you for believing in and loving our family. Thank you for praying for us and for supporting us in so many different and necessary ways. We look forward to sharing our journey with you in 2015 and pray for God's blessing on you and your family.

PR and Love

Once again our lives have been filled with unusual happenings. But this time they have been of the fun kind! The Starlight Children's Foundation asked Victoria if she would be involved in their Christmas Campaign. When we explained to her that this was an opportunity to help raise money so other seriously ill children could have their 'wish' granted, Victoria immediately said 'Yes, I will do it.' The PR has involved various activities, including recording voice overs for television and radio ads.

Victoria did a great job in the studio, under close supervision of Dad! 

And found the whole process very interesting.

As some of you know Ken and I also did an interview for the Australian Women's Weekly December issue. The interview was about our journey with the Victoria, including how the Starlight Children's Foundation has made such a positive difference during our journey. We traveled to Sydney for the photo shoot, which was an experience in itself.

We all had our hair and makeup done. Some enjoyed it more than others!

The girls had never spent so much time doing their hair.

There was a lot of laughter in the room.

It was quite a shock to see Charlotte with straight hair, looking about 15!

The girls had the best day!

The children thought it was hilarious seeing Ken getting make up on and having his hair blow-dried.

For me, it was a little piece of luxury I think I could easily get used to.

I even had to get my nails done, just in case there was a close up photo of my hands.

After our hair and make-up was done,came the difficult task of choosing what to wear for the photo shoot.

Often in the hospital I would think, 'How did we get here?' Well, here we were in a completely different situation, and I was thinking 'How did we get HERE?',  at a photoshoot for a magazine with a 2.3 million readership both here and in New Zealand! I know it is by the grace of God that we are where we are today, a restored thriving family. 

We are grateful to the Australian Women's Weekly for enabling us to share our story. We had hoped the article would include something about the source of our strength, God, however that appears to have been edited out. We pray that God will still use the article for His purposes.

The Australian Women's Weekly gave a very generous donation to The Starlight Children's Foundation, which will fund a complete wish for another child. If you would like to donate to The Starlight Children's Foundation, please click here. (You may recognise the child on their front web page!).

The PR has also included posters in Woolworths, Trade secret and The Starlight Children's Foundation Christmas direct mail campaign. The Starlight Children's Foundation have looked after us so well during all these sessions, very mindful that we are sharing a very painful personal journey. Their level of professionalism has been fantastic.

All the children have enjoyed seeing their photo in the magazine. Marshall has even autographed a copy for his teacher!

So life here is full of fun and excitement at the moment as we immerse ourselves in the PR world. Victoria continues to diligently do her leg stretching each day. She has a new splint which has relieved a lot of the difficulties she was having with the old one due to a growth spurt. When we see how well she is today, all we can do is say 'Thank you God for the grace you have shown Victoria, and us as a family.' 

This week as I said good-bye to Victoria in the car park at school, she went off skipping and laughing to class, I thought about last year and the strong attachment she had to me and the tears we had each morning about school. I thought about the beautiful people who helped her with that transition, teachers, high school students who were her 'buddies' on the bus, school friends, school mums and of course her brother and sister. And then I thought what a truly amazing community we live in, and how blessed we are. I know I have said it before, but I am going to say it again, thank you to everyone that has at some stage comforted, cuddled or just held her hand over the past four years. The love you have shown her has helped her to know in her heart, that despite what is going on for her, she is loved.

Something a little different to finish with today. This was sent to my husband by one of his most faithful friends and I thought it was worth sharing. I found it to be a good reminder of God's rightful place in our lives.

Good morning: I am God

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems.

Please remember that I do not need your help.

If the devil happens to deliver a situation that you cannot handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD (Something For Jesus To Do) box. It will be addressed in MY time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, DO NOT hold onto it or attempt to remove it. Holding on or removal will delay the resolution of your problem.

If it is a situation that you think you are capable of handling, please consult me in prayer to be sure that it is the proper resolution. 

Because I do not sleep nor do I slumber, there is no need for you to lose any sleep. Rest, my child. If you need to contact me, I am only a prayer away.

Hope lives in me

How I love this photo! It was taken on Saturday at the Cancer Council's Relay for Life, under the creative direction of a friend's father.  Hope is the key message of the Relay for Life. As Christian's 'hope' ... in Jesus, is the key message of our lives. 

Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope! Romans 15:13 The Message

It is that life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit that I see in Victoria in this photo. 

We got the results of Victoria's scan yesterday, and they were good, praise God. The word continues to be 'stable'. Of course we are always wanting 'gone', but for the time being we will gladly accept 'stable'. 

From a medical perspective this means the gap between scans will be extended to 4 months, with the next one being in March 2015. While this may not seem like a big deal to most people, it is huge to those who have lived this life. Three months comes around very quickly. For us normally 2 weeks before the scan we are fighting anxieties and then it takes 2 weeks after the scan to resume to 'normal' life.  So that only leaves 8 weeks in which we are living life without 'the scan' being the focus. Even though we have been doing this pattern for almost four years, we still struggle with the anxiety each in our own way. Please pray that we can get breakthrough in this area. It is a very draining way to live!

For me, around the scan time I find I become like Thomas (John 20;27), doubting that there will be victory for Victoria. Our previous experiences with the tumour, the doctor's words are all swirling around in my mind. Yesterday morning before getting the results, I felt Jesus say to me, 'Do you believe your family can have a life without cancer?' Given our experiences, that is a very big question! To be honest, some days I grapple with the answer to this question. 

My prayer is for the entire 4 months, right up until the time we walk into the oncologist's office, that I will be able to believe with faith like Abraham.

No unbelief or distrust made him waiver (doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God, fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He has promised. Romans 4:20-21 AMP

As I have said before, we are so grateful for all the restoration God has done within our family over the past 12 months. We will continue to be a family who runs to Jesus for promised hope. After all He has bought us through, how could we not?

We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek. Hebrews 6:18b-20 The Message

On a slightly different note, as Christmas approaches, why not consider giving the gift of blood? While Victoria has not had to have a blood transfusion, we have met lots of precious children who have required blood. Did you know that one donation can potentially save three lives? If you meet the strict donor requirements, please consider donating blood in the next couple of months.

Thank you for continuing to uphold Victoria and our family in prayer. Thank you for standing with us on this long and often overwhelming journey. Thank for supporting us in so many practical ways. Thank you for loving us.